2013 was by far my most exciting, challenging, rewarding, energising, bone-tired and inspired year yet.
It confused me, guided me and tied me in knots. Led me to people and places that have mended and lifted me. Showed me a way to live and make money that excites me and is true to me.
I learnt SO much. I thought I’d share a few of my biggest lessons.
Love your body when you hate it the most
This year I learnt bona fide body love.
The post-baby awakening can be earth shattering. Mentally you know your whole world just changed though you don’t quite know how or what it means. The disconnectedness feels even stranger when you are staring in the mirror at a completely unfamiliar body. It can be hard.
So I decided – just 6 weeks after having a baby – to take some bikini shots and measurements and compare them with similar unhappy shots of 3 years prior. Good idea, right? My hatred and resolve grew deeper. I would walk in stifling heat; an experience that was a mixture of worry about Lucy and discomfort due to some fairly awful labour stitches. It was grim. I deprived myself of food and went on juice cleanses and crazy diets.
And guess what? For all the suffering, no weight change!
Then I won a scholarship to Jessica Ainscough’s Lifestyle Transformation Guide and the first phase was all about loving yourself. Things shifted and I went on a mission to shower myself with love. I started forcing love on every wobbly, stretched out part of myself. I pretended that I was my best friend and started talking to myself as such (i.e. I would never tell her she was fat, or worthless, or ugly).
I started exercising because it made me feel good. I would play beautiful music while I walked and instead of going for the route with the most hills I would go for the one with the most trees. I started yoga. I dove into self-care; oil-pulling, body brushing, meditating, affirming! I allowed guilt-free indulgences like wine and cheese.
In the 6 months after treating myself kinder I lost 18kgs.
My body is still different to what it used to be but I love it for where it has been, where it is now and where it’s going. It’s all about loving yourself at every stage.
I threw away the scales that I used to visit 4 times a day. I feel free.
When you are authentic you attract the right people
I was brutally bullied back in high school. Not that blatant kind of bullying reserved for the “nerdy kids” (AKA f*cking cool, intelligent folk that don’t give a shit about the Rusty sticker on your lever arch file!).
No, no, I had the type where I was singled out by a conniving girl within my group of friends and then systematically isolated and tormented. I came across as fairly popular but I would dread going to school in the morning and was very close to leaving school.
Due to my chequered history I have always been intrigued by those movie friendships where groups of women just adore each other, cheer for each other, lift each other up. It was at least a nice fairy tale.
(Editors Note; No pity party here! There were gems in my life back then and since those yucky years there are even more!)
But two things changed this year;
- I stopped caring what others thought and just did what made me happy
- I cut bad people from my life. The ones that sniped, showed zilch interest in my life, undermined or just took took took without any give. The way I decided? If I walked away from someone with an icky feeling in my stomach 3 times then I decided to cut my losses and the ties.
Since then wonderful women just started coming out of the woodwork. There were more tea dates. Encouraging messages. Love notes. Going for walks on the beach. Swapping books and clothes. And before I knew it – I was a indulging in divine secrets with my goddamn ya-ya sisters!
And beyond just those beautiful girls that fill my days I am also talking about you… reading this right now. This year I opened myself more than ever and the welcoming I have received has seriously blown my socks off. So for anyone who has stopped by my blog or hit reply when my newsletter lands or took 5 minutes to touch base via Facebook or Instagram. You guys are amazing. Thank you!
This year I lived authentically and found my people!
Do what you love
Two things to consider here;
- Life is long.
I got really sick of sitting in my cramped little corporate cubicle watching minutes tick past like hours. Life – if we are lucky – is long. I want to enjoy it. So I quit my soul-destroying corporate job, started studying with the Institute for Integrative Nutrition and have now started my coaching business which is something I am excited about 100% of the time. Best decision ever!
- Life is short.
As I spoke about here – people die. Sometimes you get warning and sometimes you don’t. Either way, I would be seriously bummed out if spent my final day whinging about something that was totally within my hands to change.
Come at me 2014!
I feel the past year has been an epic game of Angry Birds.
I spent 2013 aiming my catapult. Pulled it back as far back as I could.
A few misfires here and there.
Try again. Try to get my bearings… figure out what to hit first.
Then all of a sudden; that moment! I have seen the perfect path. Crystal clear. I know where I’ve got to go and I am sure that I am aiming right.
2014 I am letting it go!